Day 2- Monday

We make it to the detox counter by 7 and start our series of drinks. We are into the swing of things. We are going to undergo two colonics every day from now one - one from 9-10 in the morning and one from 5-6pm. On Helen's suggestion, I ditch the 'colonic board' and lie down on the tiles below and, bob's your uncle, it all goes according to plan. Well, sort of. The little 'tip' keeps coming out, with coffee solution pouring out all over the room.... Overall, its not that bad. You don't really fill yourself up with solution. The moment you feel you have to release, you do. Yuuuck, enough said.

We discover that you don't have to present yourself at the detox counter every 90 minutes - take-aways are allowed. So you get the tablets upfront and the juice and other goo is packed into little plastic bags. This will make life a little easier. It means we don't have to rush to the SPA at 7am and can do some exploring of the island.

Our main aim today is to go for a swim in the sea, besides avoiding the tiniest thought of food, of course. The beach in front of our hotel (and the SPA) is very rocky and more of a harbour for small fishing boats. While its a pretty view, it's not exactly perfect for the two fatties to loll in... So, we head for Chaweng, which has the best beach on the island. We struggle a bit to find a way onto the beach - all the hotels are strung along the coastline cheek-by-jowl. But, of course, we just saunter right through one of the resorts and plonk ourselves down on their beach chairs. What a cheek! The sea is okay, not exactly Phuket, but not too bad. The resort, the Chaweng Cove Resortel, is actually quite nice, with four divine beachfront villas, all with their own swimming pool on their verandas. And next to that is a lovely restaurant, which is packed and serving . It's like a massive elephant in the room. We studiously ignore it and all we order the whole damn afternoon is a bottle of water to take our tablets. How righteous we are.

Then we head for Lamai beach, near to our hotel, and find a lovely stretch of beach. We will try that one out tomorrow.

Back at the SPA, we take a closer look at the other 'fasters'. They are a pretty mixed bunch - not too many fatties. Most are middle-aged and some are surprisingly slender. Well, the whole thing is meant to be about health and wellness, isn't it. Bugger that, it's all about losing weight! And I am sure we will.

We meet a woman at our hotel who has just flown in from Ireland for a seven-day fast. She is doing it so that she can look her best for a wedding next week. She flies back just in time for the wedding. That's dedication!

That night we take a drive to the local Tesco hypermarket for Helen to buy some suntan cream and for a foray into the food hall in search of a packet of peppermint tea. We scurry in and scurry out as if all the delicious cold meats, packet of chips and bars of chocolates are live snakes. Luckily, we are totally exhausted and really cannot wait to get to bed. But the peppermint tea is a real treat...a different taste. And we still haven't had any food. And I am not even tempted to head for the many, many 24 hour branches of MacDonalds and Burger King. Amazing, but there are five days to go. So far, so good.